Run
by Dlbn
Summary: Kio's thoughts on the strange relationship of Agatsuma Soubi and Aoyagi Seimei. Soubi CAN enjoy being human...if only he can bring himself to run.


Disclaimer: I do _not_ own Loveless or anyone in it. That all belongs to Yun Kouga. I make _no_ money off of writing in this category.

Disclaimer 2: This fic was inspired by the song "Run" by Youtuber and singer Jasmine, aka TantrumJas on Youtube. She is one of my favorite singers (does her own songs and amazing covers) and she's just a teenager! Check her and the song out if you get the time. I make NO money off of mentioning this Youtube account or the singer herself. I do not own anything having to do with her or her song.

000

I just don't _get_ it, Soubi…why do you stay with that Aoyagi brat? You do everything he says when he says it and in a timely manner, yet you almost always come back around with a new bruise or a new cut. It's very clear that he doesn't appreciate you or think of you as a human being. But yet you don't say anything? Do you like being hurt and treated like a dog? I mean, if you're a masochist, that's fine and dandy, but why not be with someone who actually loves you? Aoyagi is the masochist of all masochists, I swear. Yeah, sure you need someone willing to do that kind of thing for you, so a masochist is the way to go, but why someone so extreme? I get chills just being _near_ the kid and he's only fourteen. I shouldn't be frightened by a sixteen year old; whether he's concealing a pocket knife or not. Something's not right about that kid…and I think you know it, yet you stick by his side and act as his faithful, loyal servant it makes me sick…

I'm serious, Soubi. If you need someone to beat you like that, I'll happily do it for you. Yeah, I'm a pacifist, I know, but I wouldn't be _that_ bad. Just a little spank here and there if you needed or wanted it. I see fear in those eyes of yours when he gets upset. You'll never have to worry with me. Even when I'm upset, with you or not, I wouldn't lay a hand on you or even raise on to you. I know how to control my temper. Aoyagi thinks he's so cool and collected. That he's got everything figured out and everything together. Damned brat doesn't know a thing about the real world. Whatever the hell he believes or believes in, he'll soon come to see he's wrong. I'm not talking about religion or anything like that. I'm not a religious person, myself, but I won't bash it anyway.

You have _got_ to get a grip on yourself and this entire situation! _You_ are the adult here, not him. _You_ need to put your foot down, tell him enough is enough and kick his little virgin ass to the curb. But of course, you won't do that. You have some unwavering allegiance to this kid and I just _don't_ get it. You say when he hurts you, that it's just punishment. Well no one should be punished like that! Take away something, forbid you from eating your favorite sweet or smoking or something like that. Don't hit you and cut you and whatever else he does to you that I'm _pretty_ sure I don't want to know! That brat is vicious he's tried to scare me off a few times, but that isn't happening brat. I can't ignore someone in need.

Sun away Soubi. Even if you can't just tell the brat to shove it and kick him to the curb, maybe you could just leave? Pack your stuff, not that you have all that much anyway, and flee. Go somewhere he won't think to look for you. And once it's been long enough and he's forgotten about you or he thinks you're dead or something, then come back! Take a semester or two or three off. Just do _something_ to get away from him. Hell, I'll go _with_ you. We can do our classes online and mail our projects in. We'll have to finish them early, though, if we can manage-. Ha-ha. I'll stay by your side and help you fight your urges to return to him. I'll show you how you deserved to be treated and love you the way you're supposed to be loved. I'll never hurt you or beat you or degrade you. Make as many mistakes as you want, have as many flaws as you will allow; it's okay. I accept you for who you are! I don't need you to pledge your never ending, undying loyalty to me or some shit like that. I don't need you to mindlessly give yourself to me and do whatever I say or ask. All I want you to do is be you and start to see what this world can _really_ be like when you're loved by someone. Truly loved by someone!

I've seen him out and about with another boy around his age. This one is earless, just as you. Follows him around like a puppy, just like you. Does whatever he says and buys everything when they're together, just like you do. He has _someone else_, Soubi. Someone _his_ age. Maybe someone as psychotic as he is; I don't know. You're not the only one he has, Soubi, and you don't see that? You don't recognize that something is off about him when he comes to you grinning? When he's positively glowing before even ordering you to do something for him-always for him, never for you or both of you. When he just spends time with you and strokes your hair and treats you a little better than normal. You think it's just because he's in a good mood? That you pleased him or something good has happened and that's why he's like that? No, it's because he's already had his needs met with that someone else; that sixteen-seventeen year old brat that trails around after him like you do, only it's less pathetic really because they're closer in age. Maybe it's good that he has someone else. Maybe he'll slowly ebb you out and replace you with a new toy once he's grown bored of you. Oh, but I know that would just _kill_ you, wouldn't it? You'd be devastated and have _no_ clue what to do with yourself without him at the other end of your leash; giving you orders and punishing you if you somehow-although rarely from what I gather-fail him or don't do what he wants on time. Maybe he'll sue the other one as his new punching bag and leave you free. Free to be your own person and move on and find someone who love you for you!

You're hardly injured on the days I see them together. No bruises or cuts. No bleeding or swelling. Nothing. Just that satisfied little smile on your face that barely reaches your eyes and has no real joy behind it. You want, no need…no _crave_ for him to hurt you, don't you? If you were to have a _normal_ relationship with him, a loving, caring one, that wouldn't be enough for you. Would it? And if you _knew_ about this other kid? Surely you'd get angry and jealous. He may have led you to think that you do not have emotions, Soubi, but you do and I know you do. I've seen you cry. I've seen you smile a real genuine smile. I've heard you laugh and seen you get upset. I've seen and heard and experienced your full gambit of emotions and responses to matters at hand. From angry to upset, to terrified to happy, to hurt and betrayed to overjoyed and relaxed. I've seen it all. But when _he's_ around, you don't smile. You don't laugh. There's no joy or humor or compassion in those cobalt eyes of yours. You wear a mask of total and complete lack of emotion. You're cold and distant when he's around, even to me when he's a few yards away waiting at the school entrance.

I get it Soubi, I really do. You tell me that I don't know what I'm talking about. That things are somehow _fine_ the way that they are and that you have accepted it and that you embrace it and that you are okay with it. It's just a punishment, so it's okay, right? That's what you tell me, isn't it, Soubi? But no, that's not what it is! Not at all! You _don't like_ Seimei. Yo hate him. Despise him. _Loathe_ him. He stands for something that you don't like, something that chills you to the bone and disgusts you in every other way possible. But you pretend you like it. That you like _him_. But why? Why play this charade? Why put on the performance of a lifetime and act like you like, enjoy, and _love_ this bastard? There's something going on that you're not telling me, Soubi. You're so full of secrets, yet I can read you like an open book, for the most part. You do _not _like this kid. Part of you _does_ want to rebel, _does_ want to run away, but…not for you…no, there's something out there that you want, that maybe you once had and long to have back once again. Someone? Something? Is there a time and place, a person special to your heart that you know you could have back if not for Seimei? Did he force out an old lover? Maybe an old friend? Did he take you away from the home you loved, the amenities you enjoyed, and shove you into that dingy apartment with only a bed as furniture? I know that there's something you're not telling me. Maybe not even Seimei knows about it. Are you keeping a secret from us both? Oh, Soubi, what are you hiding?

I know I can't change your mind or change your past and/or present. But I _can_ change your future. Escape Seimei. Run away with me. Run away to somewhere safe, somewhere he'll never expect. I'll be at your side to love you and to cherish you like you deserve to be loved and cherished. I'll make you feel things you have never felt before. I'll make you feel human, feel like a man, feel _alive_! You won't have to hide or play games with me. You won't need to wear a mask. You can be as emotional as you damn well please. You can say and do whatever you want, act however you want. But first you need to get _away_ from him. Let me be your shelter, your rock. Let me guard you against the horrors of this world and the dangers of the demonic being known as Aoyagi Seimei. Please, Soubi, please I'm begging you Soubi. Sou-chan, please. Run away! I'll be when you get back or I can go with you. I'll be there for you no matter where you go. If not physically, then emotionally, spiritually. Let me do everything for you that he never did, never could. Let me bring you to the heights of pleasure and back, and then up again. Let me serve you, service you. Let me _love you._ _Please_, Sou-chan, _please_, I know that if you give it just one little _try_, you'll enjoy it. You can enjoy being human, being alive! You _can_, I just know it.

But first you've got to get away.


End file.
